Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Coming to terms and when faith can be shaken

9 years ago i once again felt the bottom drop out of my world my dear mother who i spoke to everyday was told she had bowel cancer and that it was terminal i myself struggled to come to terms with this and when she was told they told me she would only survive for six months .as soon as  i heard about my mom i stopped all spiritual work i needed to be there for her and i wanted to make sure she had my full attention so i closed down all my channels my mom put up a brave fight and in the end she survived for two and a half years in that time we did talk about her passing and i remember her saying if there is a will jan then there will be a way and i will contact you and let you know im safe .My mom passed over in October 2006 i was devastated i was not there when she passed and felt guilty i had not only lost my mom but my best friend .2 days after my mom died i had a dream me and my mom always called each other first thing in the morning and last thing at night in my dream the phone rang when i answered it was my mom i could just about hear her she sounded so far away i asked her if she was ok and could tell by her voice she was not happy (my mom was very angry about dying ) so i was worried she had not passed over ok and her anger had kept her here when i woke i knew it was a spirit dream and it played om my mind a lot about 2 months after her passing i had another dream i was in my kitchen she walked through the door hugged me and said stop worrying im ok again when i woke i knew it was a spirit dream the months that followed i became more upset because she had never visited me when i was awake and i kept thinking why because she had said she would for the first time my beliefs were being shaken and i was starting to lose faith as the months turned into a year i was more and more upset i kept thinking she would come to me she promised and she hadn't , then about 18 months after she passed i had another dream this time it was my guide who said he needed to take me somewhere and show me something i went with him and he took me to a room after sitting there for a few minutes my mom came running in huge smile, excited and talking to me like she had to get everything in she was saying how nice everything was where she was how she met all of her family who had passed and some new friends how she loved it and was doing this and that, all the time i was there i was waiting for her to ask about her hubby who is still with us was or about her grandchildren or about me and my siblings but she didn't then she was gone as quick as she came when she left there was blood where she had been sitting i was confused so said to my guide i thought everyone was cured when they passed over he said to me that's just a symbol for you to understand janice even though you mom has healed from her physical life she still is not healed in her spiritual life she is still making the transition she is still learning what is happening all the time you are worrying wandering why she has not contacted you its because she has no need to yet and time means nothing here  do you understand ,and i did i understood it was me who wanted to hear from my mom it was me who needed her to still be there It was me who couldn't let go my mom was ok and she was happy. And i know one day i will hear from her and she will come but only when and if she is ready to do so and i have to be happy with that and now i am because now i have healed   FOR MAUREEN ROSE I LOVE AND MISS YOU XXXX

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